one year later

*Drafted this in June but never got around to posting it...well here it is! Unedited and without visuals... seemed more authentically me this way.

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Time is such a funny concept. Somehow we are able to feel like it is lost, frozen and precious all in one breath yet we forget that time is not ours. A year ago I began on a journey that had felt forever to start and would take forever to end, but here I am: a nursing student- halfway through her program, fulfilling the calling God had given (what seemed like) so long ago. This year has stretched, thinned, yanked, ripped and made my heart stronger than ever before. There are incredibly long days in the hospital when time seems to move at glacial rates, and then there are days (like today) when time has completely slipped by in studying and reading. Those are the days I question how things ever got accomplished. Where does time go?

During this past year God has blessed me with incredible new friends/comrades, who have become so quickly like family. There doesn't seem to be a day that goes by when I think about how miserable nursing school would have been without these incredible people. We push each other, cry together, eat copious amounts of food (mainly bad), and pray together when life at the moment seems so bleak.

Then there are the #foreverfriends. It seems that no matter what season of life we are all in we can always count on each other for a good time, listening ears and lots of laughs. Although life has pulled us in very different directions this past year, God has continued to bless our friendship to grow in deeper ways than ever before.

Not many people can say that one-third of their family gets married in a year- much less within a few months of each other! In addition to emotionally growing as a family this past year we have also grown in numbers taking on two new additions to contribute to the madness. Whether related by blood or newly added, I am beyond grateful and loved by my family. A gift as wonderful as a supportive family is not one given to everyone. The Lord knew I was going to need people to call while I am away from school, houses to visit when I come home with new furniture to break in, and people to feed me after long days/weeks of inadequate meals. Love is real to me because of them.

We easily forget what a blessing it is to have a path laid before us in life- even greater is to know that the path is one that God has laid before you.

BE-ATITUDES

Recently I had a conversation with my sister about how beautifully scary the ocean is. Absolutely gorgeous. Absolutely terrifying. From our perspective the above layers can be breath-taking with unending color gradients and life-giving qualities (i.e. cool relief in the summer, living quarters for creatures, etc.). While we marvel at it's beautiful stillness- we shiver to consider it's changing power and unknown qualities. We know so little of the full extent of the ocean and yet we are so inclined to dive in.... there's creatures down there that are bigger than cars! i'm completely humbled by the ocean.

Likewise, I'm completely humbled by a Father that created a beautiful world with a fury that could obliterate me at any moment. Kind of scary isn't it? Living a life knowing that there is a force out there that can choose when and where we will no longer be a part of this earth. Perhaps that is why I can appreciate this life that I'm given so much more- it's a gift. Of course, like all gifts to humans, they can be ungrateful and abused at times without remembering the One who gave it to you. (This logic makes Hillsong's Oceans make so much more sense now. good one) With that perspective, He really doesn't ask for that much compared to what He has already given.

[Matt. 5:3-12] The Beatitudes. BE-atitudes. be- ATTITUDES.
Jesus' list of those characteristics that will bring blessings and who will receive those blessings. To BE present even in the bad times, because those are still for the Lord. Have an attitude of humility- recognizing all those that came before and suffered the same or worst.